» Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]


 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]


 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
Halcyon Digest
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Fat Possum
Cheyenne Kimball
The Day Has Come

Rating: 6/10 ?

July 7, 2006
Today we'll discuss horror, degradation, greed and scum; reality TV to be more precise.

As the major label swan song moves into more plaintive stanzas, their latest tactic - dangling mindlessly supersized contracts in front of business-clueless reality-TV-show finalists - is without question the most spiteful they've ever dreamt up, calculated to motivate art-clueless couch-slugs into doing A&R's work by dialing 1-800 numbers and spending whatever's left after Exxon is paid up for the week on albums sung by said attention-obsessed trailer yokels. The core concept of schadenfreude, a psychological response purely relegated to humans, waits in the wings for Kelly Clarkson; any day now she'll blow out nodes in her plastic throat, and how we'll smirk in satisfaction. She'll get fatter and fatter and fatter and perhaps join fat Kirstie Alley on a Fat On Parade special, sponsored by Fig Newtons and hi-carb Sucralose treats. Then she'll be all done, ready to take the train to hell. All the arseholes who wanted her to win but felt cheated when she actually Did Big Things will feel that the universe has become whole again.

Actual ringwraiths operating under the aegis of Sauron dragged Cheyenne Kimball's new album, The Day Has Come, kicking and screaming into my mailbox for public torture and summary execution. She's a past winner of an NBC television "America's Most Talented Kid" contest, blond with pretty much perfect DNA and a voice so average that she makes the Veronicas seem like real people.

Damn it all, though. Under heavy interrogation it somehow blabbed its way into getting freed on personal recognizance, partly owing to some hard-pop proselytizing during the intro (spooky guitar samples and all) and first song (the Def Leppard-doing-Godzilla-ish "I Want To"). This isn't to say that it's a Cool Album - I wouldn't be caught fucking dead saying that, of course - so I'll enter some caveats into the record: Kimball may be a Jenny McCarthy action figure that makes Avril Lavigne noises when you press its belly, and her handlers didn't think anyone would remember Siouxsie and the Banshee's "The Passenger" (refer to the ironically named "One Original Thing"), but - God help us, every one - several of the songs aren't completely disgusting. If you skip past retail-riot-grrrl Barbie-emo like "Hello Goodbye," that is. And if you're really trashed - yesss, that's it.

Now that that's over with, fight the power, you guys. Kill your reality TV before it kills you. Read the political news elsewhere here on the mighty Lost At Sea. Check out commondreams.org. Get pissed already and do something.

Reviewed by Eric Saeger
An LAS staff writer based in New Hampshire, Eric Saeger was named alt.flame\'s Newbie of the Year in 2000.

See other reviews by Eric Saeger



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