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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
Panic
Self-titled CDep
Bridge Nine Records

Rating: NR/10 ?


October 1, 2004
"Hey, PSSST…Come here. Look, don't tell anybody, but I just had an incredible idea. Let's go get a ton of bad-ass tattoos, and start a band. You can play your drums as fast as you possibly can, and I will play my guitar as fast as I can. I'll get my friend John to scream for us. It will be so rad!"

*Q*
"Huh?"

"Well, he kinda sounds like someone shoved their foot up his ass and then shreaded his vocal chords with a pizza cutter. But trust me- it sounds totally bomb, bro!"

*Q*
"Huh?"

"Well, no, I don't think he has ever been in a band before, but I hear he is always writing lyrics about how tough it was growing up as a middle-class white kid braving the perils of the suburbs, and about his tattoos and stuff. I can so totally relate too, so it doesn't matter if he hasn't ever sung in a real band before. You've got to start somewhere, bro! Besides that there will be so much noise it will be completely unintelligible! And then all the kids will look at us and see our bad-ass tattoos, and hear this huge fucking noise, and they will all think we are like totally mean and hardcore. Then they will buy a bunch of our records and we will make a ton of cash. We might even get laid! It'll be totally sweet! Just remember -- it was my idea though."

*Q*

"We don't have to practice. As long as we start and stop at the same time, it's all good!"

*S*

"Whaddya mean it sounds just like every local hardcore band you've ever heard?"

"Well forget you then, bro. I'm all about getting some money and some chicks. I'm outta' here."

---
Two weeks after this very conversation took place, MakeOutClub.com was created. Our enterprising and technically savvy young idealist who shall remain unidentified, then started a hardcore band in which he decided that he could handle vocal duties, figuring that he could scream just as agonizingly bland as any other guy. They sounded just like every other local hardcore band. He got lots of money… and lots of chicks.

Reviewed by Mark Skipper
Mark Skipper currently resides in Nashville, TN where he can be found skipping shows, drinking Guinness, making bad home recordings, and complaining about how much music sucks these days.

See other reviews by Mark Skipper

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