» Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]


 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]


 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
Halcyon Digest
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Fat Possum
When Broken Is Easily Fixed
Victory Records

Rating: NR/10 ?

February 4, 1999
In the not so distant future, robots have come to great prominence in everyday life. After the secret to artificial intelligence was discovered, robots with cognitive skills and the ability to reason were used to do the unglamorous and mundane tasks that were previously done by humans. During a freak electrical storm, a robot was "born" with not only a mind, but also a heart. Do to some unexplained phenomena he acquired artificial emotion along with his artificial intelligence.

A family took him in, named him Silverstein, after their favorite children's author, and set him to work. Being more than the usual cold, calculating robot, Silverstein soon grew bored with the monotony of his routine. Feeling that there was more to life, the catalyst for action came when he overheard the family's teenage son playing Something To Write Home About by the Get Up Kids. "Here is a band that is speaking to me," thought Silverstein. "They know my dreams and feel my disillusionment." With that Silverstein packed his things (oil, antifreeze, toothbrush) and escaped from the boring Canadian family.

With only his newfound sense of freedom to guide him, Silverstein soon found himself wandering aimlessly. Remembering the group that had liberated him with their teen angst anthems and their non-threatening punk good looks, Silverstein set out to inspire those like him through the glories of emotional pop-punk. Because he was a robot, Silverstein went about this in a totally analytical way. He downloaded as many MP3's as he could onto his hard-drive. Making thousands of calculations per second, Silverstein used all of that music stored in him to devise the algorithm for the sound wave with the most emotional impact.

A few months later, Silverstein was ready to unveil his one-man music show. The stage fright from performing for the first time twisted up his circuits, causing much of the music he had absorbed to be trashed in his recycle folder. What was left was a weird mishmash of Saves the Day, The Get Up Kids, a bootleg copy of New England Metal and Hardcore Fest 2001, and the violin solo from the theme for "An American Tail". Needless to say, the kids aged thirteen to seventeen ate up Silverstein's performance.

After a few more shows and a growing legion of fans, Silverstein found himself signed to Victory records and releasing the album When Broken Is Easily Fixed. It all seemed like a dream. Who would ever imagine that a robot from Canada would find himself the new champion of emo rock? Amidst the dizzying heights, Silverstein still found himself stuck in a substantial low. All of the fame, the accolades, the fan adoration, and he had no one to share it with. Then one night after the show, while he was hanging around the craft services table, Silverstein laid eyes on the most beautiful toaster he had ever seen. It was love at first sight.

The two machines shared the following weeks of the tour in total bliss. They toasted bread, English muffins, even the occasional pop tart together. Then one night after another soul baring show, Silverstein could not find his beloved Toasty. After inquiring around it was learned that Chris Carraba had used Toasty to commit suicide in a bathtub back at his hotel room. Silverstein's circuits had never felt pain this deep. "Even though I sing such a nice, catchy mix of emo, pop-punk, and hardcore, it all means nothing to me without Toasty." And with a look of sorrow in his robot eyes, he ripped out his robot heart.

Reviewed by Kevin Alfoldy
An aspiring global adventurer who cut his teeth on the sandy beaches and dirty bitches of Southern California, Kevin Alfoldy now spends his non-vacation days in Brooklyn, New York, where he occasionally finds the time to rub the crust out of his eyes long enough to contribute reviews and feature articles for LAS. A longtime staff member, Kevin also captains the tattered, often half-sunk raft of EPmd, our irregular column of EP reviews.

See other reviews by Kevin Alfoldy



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