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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
P.O.D.
Testify
Atlantic Records

Rating: 0/10 ?


January 30, 2006
Kids today, man. They're fed processed, freeze-dried, king-sized glucose-globs to keep them in constant diabetic shock. They get antibiotics and bacteria-killing soap to protect their immune systems from the bantam-weight bugs that could teach their physiologies a useful thing or two for when the big boys show up. Their music? Nice, clean, safe McMetal, like P.O.D. - no off-key voices, no guitar solos, just antiseptic, soulless, spit-shined elevator ditties sung by American Idolbots, nothing to distract Generation Zzz from multitasking their 3-ring circuses of Playstations, manga and IM windows. Why, if a wingnut drum solo even attempted to poke its head out of a Disturbed/Papa Roach/Linkin Park/Sevendust/P.O.D. album it'd get the Jimmy Hoffa treatment from whatever secret neo-PMRC wants to keep kids' heads clear enough to manage dopey smiles when accepting their 3rd-Place-in-Cleanest-Uniform soccer trophies.

Sort of gives a new slant to the idea behind those ironically punk-looking Parental Advisory stickers, which, by the by, won't be disfiguring the shrinkwrap on P.O.D. albums. Wise investors... ah, that is, veterans of the Christian rock scene. This is a band that has its finger on the pulse of Bush Youth - not only do our haloed rock-friars avoid swearing and other forms of obscene yucky filth, they're, like, totally diverse too, offering depleted-soil Bob Marley-by-way-of-Shaggy ("Roots in Stereo," "Strength of My Life") when they're not busy representin' a way-phat capacity to get jiggy with dope riddims that keep the feel real up in da Promised field, like anti-gangstas chizzlin with their homey Hay-zeus.

You see, yo, what distances P.O.D. from the rest of nu-metalkind is their invest... ah, love for hip-hop. There's a boy-band angle to their shamefulness, caught red-handed in "Goodbye For Now," a burst of big, fat, condescending, minor-key angst that pulls all the right hi-def strings in a buffoonish effort to puppeteer some histrionic swooning out of their rehabbed… ah, virginal audience. Enhancing this kitschful masterpiece's effects are the vocals, coming out of the gate like Marky Mark before deteriorating more and more toward Tears for Fears until it ends, a bit abruptly, as though the producer had been afraid high-fructose corn syrup was going to start pouring out of the speakers and drown everyone in the studio.

Last and emphatically least is "Lights Out," an ebonics-sputtering attempt to reinvent the band as a duh-metal Eminem, an image only slightly less cool than Urkel in special shoes.

And no decent chant-along like "Youth of a Nation" either. There'll be some splainin' to do at the pearly gates.

Reviewed by Eric Saeger
An LAS staff writer based in New Hampshire, Eric Saeger was named alt.flame\'s Newbie of the Year in 2000.

See other reviews by Eric Saeger

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