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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
Great Redneck Hope
'Splosion!
Thinker Thought Records

Rating: NR/10 ?


October 1, 2004
Welcome back to our show. It is now time to play the game you've all been waiting for- SONG, SLAM, or SATAN.

That's right, this week each phrase is either a song title from The Great Redneck Hope's new album, 'Splosion!, something overheard during the Cage Match at this year's Wrestlemania, or actual words spoken by the Dark Lord himself to our intern Timmy after Timmy had been up for thirty hours frying on too many doses of bad acid.

Well then, let's get rolling... First up we have, "I Don't lift Weights to Impress the Bitches. I Lift Weights to Knock a Sucka's Teeth Out." Even though I'm sure if you hung around long enough you would hear this at Wrestlemania, the correct answer is SONG.

Next up is, "My Soul Patch Is Made From the Scalped Hair of My Victims." Maybe in Bro Hell the Devil has that nasty patch of hair below his bottom lip, but this was overheard while waiting to get a Bud Light at Wrestlemania. The correct answer is SLAM.

Question number three, "Hey Goth Girl, Isn't It A Little Hot To Be Wearing Pants?"

This one's really up for grabs, but it is the Great Redneck Hope's album opener. The correct answer is SONG.

Two more to go. "When the Prophecy is Complete the Streets Will Run Red With the Blood of the Innocent. Fire Will Rain From the Sky. The Dead Will Rise and Devour the Living. Sorority Girls Will Think Twice Before Dressing Up as Slutty Devils for Halloween. It Will Truly Be Hell on Earth and I Will Be the Master of All."

This is the one that caused poor Timmy to poke his eyes out with a rusty paper clip. That's right, it's SATAN.

And here it is, our last question: "They Say the People Elect the Government They Deserve, but I Don't Remember Knife-Raping any Retarded Nuns."

Wow, truly a tough one. Are the Great Redneck Hope that fucked up and pretentious? I know Wrestlemania fans are scary, but it is more of an I-can't-believe-anyone-is-actually that-dumb-and-ignorant scary and not a murdering and raping, psychopathic scary. And I'm sure the devil is pro knife-raping retarded nuns, but I'm also pretty sure he is con discussing democratic philosophy. This is a tough one but the correct answer is SONG.

Our big winner today receives a copy of the Great Redneck Hope's 'Splosion! featuring everything you would expect from an album with song titles this deliberately demented. Ambient freakout noises, short, rapid bursts of frenetic guitars, and larynx shredding vocals. Ninety-second assaults on the senses. These songs are over before your brain has had the chance to process the auditory anarchy. Congratulations!

This is your host, Kevin Alfoldy, signing off.

Reviewed by Kevin Alfoldy
An aspiring global adventurer who cut his teeth on the sandy beaches and dirty bitches of Southern California, Kevin Alfoldy now spends his non-vacation days in Brooklyn, New York, where he occasionally finds the time to rub the crust out of his eyes long enough to contribute reviews and feature articles for LAS. A longtime staff member, Kevin also captains the tattered, often half-sunk raft of EPmd, our irregular column of EP reviews.

See other reviews by Kevin Alfoldy

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