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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
The Summer Obsession
This Is Where You Belong
Virgin

Rating: 7/10 ?


September 22, 2006
Emo is persona non grata in the car CD player right now. In fact, any singer who can't get through the first few lines without pretending that scales only have four notes gets his band's CD yanked out of the player, bitten in half and tossed behind the driver's seat, where the jockstrap, empty Glaceu bottles and prehistoric Cypress Hill albums surround it like hyenas and rip its corpse.

The balcony is closed. No more emo for 2006, unless it's the sound of ten emo bands holding hands and jumping off the Grand Canyon.

But wait, this is a funny one. Some of those emo-ites will do anything for attention, including shooting their own feet with million-billion-caliber rounds, and here we have something just as worthy of autopsy as the recent Maine werewolf and the gator-fishy from Russia, since there's no scientifically explaining TSO's straight 5 rating on Amazon without diving yippy-ki-ay into conspiracy theory territory.

Either a single someone connected with this band can't put together a sentence, and can't think of a single adjective other than "amazing" and posted all seven comments under seven different phony Amazon user IDs within 48 hours of each other exactly one week after the largely ignored release date, or there are seven equally unread clucks who simultaneously converged like roaches to a saltine in the strangest coincidence in the history of networked computing.

It's there to see. Bet you anything it was one of the girlfriends, since there's a certain vulnerability to the "user comments" and heavy use of those retarded emoticons.

What's amazingly amazing is how desperately the band wants to be Dashboard Confessional, but the sad thing is that they're better than that, often wrangling a theater shtick that's kind of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Yes, they get ambitious after rubbing out a few nondescript pieces of camel dung to get potential quasi-pubescent fans all safely snuggled into bed in their Funeral For a Friend Underoos. Not a compelling reason to download or buy a hard copy of this garbage, I know, but if you're going to slum in emo-McDonaldland, you owe it to yourself to avoid unfiltered suckage whenever possible.

Reviewed by Eric Saeger
An LAS staff writer based in New Hampshire, Eric Saeger was named alt.flame\'s Newbie of the Year in 2000.

See other reviews by Eric Saeger

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