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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
Geka
Station
Alphabet Zoo

Rating: 6/10 ?


July 14, 2006
Boy frickin howday, has it ever been attack of the cappuccino-time chick-flickers lately. The daughters of both E.L. Doctorow and Harry Chapin came out simultaneously with Joan Baez-like records that suck as far as I'm concerned, which I'm only imparting without elaboration because neither is the subject of this review, hence the coast is clear for me to play the bigoted, close-minded hanging judge I often find myself wishing were part of a music critic's job description.

The next level down from Starbucks-folk (and one shaky precipice up from the limey-induced Americana craze - this Jehovah's Witness Kumbaya baloney could only have happened on a watch overseen by a generation of "critics" who are nothing more than same-same starry eyed spin-bots obsessed with someday winning the big prize on that sickening Rolling Stone reality show so that they too can become certified tools of the Man) is populated by this Geka person and similar products, willowy, glaze-eyed knobs all bent on Billboarding their way into a slice of Jewel's demographic.

Like a vision of Claudia Schiffer lullabying herself into a Teletubby stupor, this German wraps her china-fragile voice around slothy French-café-twee and kicks back with a bowl of birdseed, holding the odometer down at great-grandma speed and keeping her emotions (caveats here) to herself. There are two things about this girl that are hotter than her carelessly straightened hair, namely her accent and Nico-like crippled English ("Slow down, pick up accorns[sic]/Little treasures put in my bag"), but males will get little out of this other than fond memories of dead-weight coeds running on full tanks of Electric Lemonade - it's an unplugged wine-and-brie opus born to backdrop montages of Andie McDowell portraying someone oddly Andie-McDowell-like who is micro-thinking her plush life in some edgy chick flick doomed to weekday afternoon re-runs on the Oxygen Network.

That Station has a generous dearth of catchiness isn't the point; it's all about the dandelion puffs swirling and floating and bobbing around the little dearie as she waltzes through the flagship track plunking out stoner-tested, musically correct leads on her acoustic guitar, her gimpy falsetto playing Stimpy to Azure Ray's Ren.

I swear I tried to find some hookage within this morass, and there very well may be some. Hopefully the right people find it and it gives them some solace in this mean old world. What's more likely to happen is that it'll slowly become a hazy MySpace memory while people who spend time in their cars and whatnot, who have actual lives, stick with things that aren't just fuckish playacting.

Reviewed by Eric J Herboth
Eric J. Herboth is the founder, publisher and Managing Editor of LAS magazine. He is a magazine editor, freelance writer, bike mechanic, commercial pilot, graphic designer, International Scout enthusiast and giver of the benefit of the doubt. He currently lives in rural central Germany with his two best friends, dog Awahni and cat Scout.

See other reviews by Eric J Herboth

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